28. Dream of the state of consciousness 1860 (MB. 6,616)
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It was December 31 and I had to advise the youths of the "Aguinaldo", motto or souvenir for the new year that was about to begin.
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And in a dream I met Father Joseph Cafasso (who had died that year) and I asked him, "What advice or souvenir shall I leave to my disciples for this year that is about to begin?"
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He answered me: First of all, that they settle the accounts of their conscience.
And then I saw a tribunal composed of Father Cafasso, the poet Silvio Péllico and Count Cays. And that my disciples, each one with a piece of paper in his hand passed before the tribunal to present the accounts of his conscience.
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Those who presented the accounts well arranged were approved and went to the courtyard to play very happy.
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Those who had unforgiven sins, the lords of the court rejected their accounts and sent them back to them, because they could not be accepted in this way. And they went out very sad and very distressed.
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I saw some who did not go to the tribunal to present their accounts. I asked Father Cafasso who they were and he answered: "They are the ones who have no good works to be paid. Tell them to hasten to do works for Heaven, for the tree that does not bear fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire" (Mt. 3:10). (Mt. 3:10).
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I went out into the courtyard and saw that the youths who had their conscience right were playing happily and feeling satisfied like princes. But other youths were not happy. And some of these had a blindfold on their eyes (so as not to recognize the ugliness of sin and the need to live in God's grace) and others had a head full of black smoke.
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And there in a corner of the courtyard I saw a scene that filled me with anguish: A youth stretched out on the ground, pale as a dead man (was his soul dead because of sin?). Some with very sick eyes (bad looks?), others with sick tongues (bad conversations?) and some very sick of ears (deaf to hear the good, attentive to hear the bad?). All of them had their senses gnawed by worms. One had a totally rotten tongue, another with a mouth full of stinking mud, and a third with a throat so foul-smelling that one could not get near him (what could they be talking about?). Someone had a rotten and decayed heart, weak and corrupt (you can imagine how bad and corrupt their affections would be). There were some like decomposing corpses (destroyed by vices) and others so sick that they looked like a hospital (that's how sick their soul is!). I was looking at the conscience of each one.
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I approached one of those poor little ones and asked him: - But what has happened to you? Why are you so sick? - It is because I am reaping the fruit of my evil deeds. "Each one reaps what he has cultivated. He who cultivates corruption reaps evil". (Gal. 6:7).
And several others answered me the same. I saw the state of each soul so clearly, that if anyone comes to me now, I can tell him how his conscience is.
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Then I was led into a huge hall, adorned with gold and silver, and filled with marvelous lamps that produced such beautiful light as one cannot imagine. And in the middle of the hall was an immense table with the most exquisite food a person could desire. When I saw such a quantity of such tasty food, I decided to go out and call my disciples to come in and eat, but Father Cafasso said to me: "Wait a moment: only those who have a clear conscience can partake of this table. Those who have settled the accounts of their conscience.
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I went to call those whose consciences had been purified of sins, and the table was filled with diners who showed immense joy and satisfaction.
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I then begged that others of my disciples might also enter to participate in such a rich banquet, and I was told: "Only those who are healthy in soul can participate in the banquet of Heaven. Those whose souls are sick have to wait to be cured."
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And I saw that those who partook of that table were immensely happy and content. But those whose souls were sick and stained were there in a corner, filled with deep sadness. Those whose hearts were eaten away suffered from great melancholy. None of those whose souls were blemished were allowed to approach the table of delights. Oh, and there among those saddened ones with stains on their souls I clearly saw many of my disciples.
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I asked Father Cafasso: "What remedy do you advise me for these young people to have a healthy soul? He answered: "To be alert and watchful". "Watch and pray so as not to fall into temptation, for the spirit is ready, but the body is weak" (Mt. 26:41).
"Be on the alert because the enemy, the devil is going around like a lion, seeking whom he may devour." (S. Peter 1P. 5,8).
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And as I said these words, Father Cafasso and his companions disappeared, and I woke up and found myself sitting on the bed, shivering with cold.
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I conclude by recommending that all purify their souls with a good confession, and that they receive Holy Communion frequently and with much devotion.
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Notes: The tribunal was composed of three friends of Don Bosco: Father Cafasso, his holy confessor and great teacher of spirituality. He examined about the practices of piety and about morality. The poet Silvio Pellico, who examined how each one had fulfilled his duties as a student. Count Cays, senator, examined the discipline and good behavior and obedience of each one.
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During those days, the young people approached Don Bosco and he would inform them if he had seen them with a healthy soul and seated at the banquet table of Heaven, or if he had observed that they were sick in the eyes, ears, or heart, or had become corpses through mortal sin. Some of them wept as they felt that the description the Saint gave them in telling them how he had seen them in the dream was an exact portrait of the state in which their souls were.
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It would be interesting to know in which of these groups each one of us will be.
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Father Rufino wrote a chronicle of what happened that year, and there he says that the effect of that dream was immensely beneficial for the disciples of Don Bosco. That every day many of them approached him to ask him in what state he had seen them. And that a fairly large group of young people who until that day had not wanted to settle the affairs of the soul with a good confession, began to frequent the confessional with much repentance.
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Don Bosco was happy to see that the narration of the dream of the consciences was doing more good than a series of Spiritual Retreats.
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Two days later, as Don Bosco was coming down the stairs, he met a young man and said to him, "When will you confess such a sin... that you have never dared to confess?"
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The boy burst into tears. He had never in his life dared to confess that sin. And he went at once and confessed it and was at peace.
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The Chronicle of the Oratory goes on to say: "Many young people burst into tears when Don Bosco told them in what a pitiful state he saw them in the dream. Most of the pupils of the workshops went to make a general confession of their whole life.
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The pupils asked Don Bosco in the courtyard, at recess, to give them further explanations of the dream and he added: "In that dream I learned more than if I had read several books. Those who have smoke in their heads are those who let themselves be carried away by pride and self-love and the desire to appear. Of some who were with a corroded heart, I was told that they are those whose hearts are full of antipathies, grudges and hatreds, or envy. The hearts of some were full of earth, and I was told that they are those who live very attached to the goods of this world and to sensual pleasures."
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And he added: "I saw some with empty hearts: they are those who do not do evil works, but neither do they do good works, and they pray little with fervor ("neither fa nor fu").
Later, in another good-night talk, he told them: "I have spent very anguished hours thinking about something that fills me with horror: the great number of my disciples who live with their consciences so disordered and their souls so stained. Remembering those I saw lying on the ground like corpses, covered with foul sores, I have felt very deep sadness. Some of them have already settled the affairs of their conscience. And the others, why don't they? And he burst into tears. Several students also began to cry, and the words of the Saint had the desired effect. (MB. 6,627).
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29. A death threat 1860 (MB. 6,625).
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On January 12, 1860, Don Bosco called young Bartholomew C. to his room and said to him: "I saw in a dream that death was threatening you. It was approaching you with the desire to take you to eternity. When I saw this, I immediately ran to prevent death from taking you, but I heard a voice that said to me: "Why let one to continue to live, who wants to continue in sin and does not want to heed the invitations that you make to him to begin to behave well and who abuses the graces that Our Lord grants him? I prayed for your life to be prolonged and I obtained it.
That poor little youth, on hearing the story of this dream, was so worried and moved that among tears and sobs he made his confession of his whole life and formulated very good resolutions, which he then tried to fulfill as well as possible.
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And Bartholomew then told Father Bonetti that since his first communion he had never made a good confession, but that since Don Bosco told him this dream he had completely settled the accounts of his conscience with God.
Can that terrible sentence that Don Bosco heard about the young man be said about us? Hopefully not!